Biking, hiking and a campervan
This trio of cycling silliness starts with just me and the bike, the we add a campervan, finally some animals!
It all started when I was overtaken by a jogger and I knew it was time for drastic action - or pack it in altogether.
I was riding a mountain bike borrowed from my step-daughter. An uncomfortable, slow machine that I was glad to return after a month of disappointments.
The answer was an E-bike.
My first injury occurred within one foot! Setting off for my first practice ride round a car park, I misjudged the width of the handlebars and scraped my hand on the cycle shop’s stone wall.
‘You’ll go places you’ll never have dreamed of,’ said the shop owner.
Prophetic words indeed. Eighteen hours later I was embedded in my neighbours hedge due to a clothing malfunction. Fortunately, before setting out I’d put my ego and self-esteem in the top drawer in the kitchen.
With the emergency ambulance on speed-dial, I climb a steep learning curve on a series of mini adventures throughout the north of England, mercifully with a diminishing distance to injury ratio.
By calling my e-bike a ‘Lifestyle Investment’, it took my wife’s mind off the cost. At the time she needed some new slippers, so it was a sensitive issue. Someone asked whether I was searching for eternal youth? ‘Not really,’ I replied, ‘more trying to keep out of my eternal hole in the ground. A pressing matter upon which I feel I must act swiftly.’
Fuelled by red wine and optimism I disappeared into the mist. Bike number one was a learning experience, but a fun one. I upgrade to a better bike and on this one, among other adventures, I ride across the country Coast to Coast with Jan driving the campervan. A fabulous experience for both of us.
The new bike was obviously much more appealing to thieves, because it was pinched. Someone (or two of them) crossed a field, climbed two fences, took a panel out of the garage roof and retraced their steps. Much hassle, much disappointment.
Over the three books I've recounted many tales beginning when I was a nipper. I recall riding into a big hole in the Netherlands and having some amazing days out on the Cumbrian moors, The Howgill Fells specifically. There's an introduction here.
I'm now 64 with dodgy legs and the e-bike has taken me back to a time when I could ride where I want without fear of coming to a grinding halt. A Wider Rider includes some memorable Scottish adventures (including a Buddhist retreat), collecting fossils on Christmas Day on the Jurassic coast and adopting a donkey and a chimp.
The first bike is called Columbanus? Why? Well, he's the Patron Saint of motorcyclists. I have a cycle with a motor so it's near enough. Plus it sounds not unlike numb anus which sort of sums it up!
For the record, bike two is called CO2, our donkey is called Joseph and the chimp, Pacito.